Love at first sight exists. It mainly affects women. But to turn this magical moment into a lasting relationship, one must overcome fears and doubts.
You Tend to Idealize
Wonderful, tender, gallant... In short, you've just met the ideal partner. Blinded by love, you tend to idealize the loved one and project your fantasies of happiness onto them. The trap? Not seeing them as they truly are but as you dream them to be. Yet no one is perfect, and as soon as daily routine sets in, disappointment follows.
Psychologist's Advice: To build a long-term relationship, distinguish reality from imagination. What are their real qualities? Are they genuinely funny, or do you laugh at everything they say because you're smitten? Without highlighting flaws, be aware of small things that could improve.
Live in the Present
Under their charm, they invite you to a romantic dinner... Suddenly, you confide how your ex hated such places. And then you tell them your life story in detail. Classic! Unconsciously, you're laying your past on the table to test them. Worse, you may be trying to push them away to avoid a new relationship that scares you. Or, you project into the future, talking about romantic weekends, beautiful children…
Psychologist's Advice: You are not living in the present moment. Reconnect with your partner. Immerse yourself in the world of sensations: catch their gaze. Listen to what they are saying!
Build Self-Confidence
You've just met your soulmate, and you should be overjoyed! Yet dark thoughts overwhelm you as you await the next meeting. You find yourself unattractive and uninteresting. This is called inner monologue. It often feeds on negative thoughts and arises in the absence of the loved one.
Psychologist's Advice: To counteract this, identify negative thoughts and firmly reject them. For example, write in one column all the phrases like, "I’m not good enough for them," and in another, list specific qualities that make you stand out: angelic patience, a gift for cooking, a love for beautiful things…
Cultivate Your Personality
You're ready to do anything to win their favor: abandon friends, change habits… You might belong to the group of love dependents, neglecting yourself for your partner. Their needs and desires take precedence over yours. Often, this behavior stems from the belief that the other will love you more for it.
Psychologist's Advice: In the long term, this approach will push you to leave to "find yourself." It was your qualities that attracted them and initiated this romance. So, cultivate your personality. Practice expressing your feelings and true aspirations.
