We live in an era of role flexibility, especially in a difficult economic context where unemployment looms and may lead a husband to become a stay-at-home dad. Why not?
"My husband works a lot and has always relied on me to manage the house and the children. Now that I also work, he struggles with having to take time off (RTT) to care for a sick child. And this, under the pretext that he earns more than I do... He doesn’t say it outright, but I can feel it! Should household chores be divided based on each person’s salary?"
Flexible Roles…
If I understand you correctly, the reason your husband doesn’t contribute to household chores might be related to money. His higher salary would exempt him from "pitching in"... If what you perceive is true, it’s hard for me to defend his behavior. After all, a stay-at-home wife performs countless tasks… without being paid! This is all the more unfair because all work deserves compensation.
Calculate the hours you dedicate to your family and multiply them by the reasonable rate of 11 euros you would pay a housekeeper. Your total earnings, added to your external salary, would likely exceed your husband’s. He could no longer use the financial argument.
You probably know that delightful tale where a man, thinking women have it easy, asks God to turn him into a stay-at-home wife. His wish is granted. But after two exhausting days, he begs God to turn him back into a man… to which God replies, "Alright! But you’ll have to wait nine months, because you’re pregnant!"
The salary difference should not influence the division of chores. Your question raises the broader issue of role distribution within a couple. In the past, roles were clearly defined: the man brought home the money, and the woman handled household duties. Those days are over. Women are increasingly working outside the home, and many men are stepping into domestic roles.
We live in an era of role flexibility, especially in a difficult economic context where unemployment looms and may lead a husband to become a stay-at-home dad. Why not?
…But Not Interchangeable
The key is for the couple to find the optimal solution for themselves and their children at a given time. They can always revisit this arrangement after a few years, through respectful and loving dialogue, if one partner feels disadvantaged.
After all, there are irreconcilable differences between men and women, and their roles are never entirely interchangeable.
